Colin Rosni ‘16 – The dreams of the millennial generation are dead. The realizations that Spongebob isn’t funny past the age of 10 have been realized. This realization went unnoticed until this weekend, when the new movie, Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water was released.

Some of the comedic intentions were there, but this movie appeared identical to the movie released in 2004, which happened to be much more successful. They tried too hard to create a situation where the well-being of Bikini Bottom is jeopardized. Only this time, the circumstance isn’t anything to be scared of.

The real reason that this movie is bad is it’s indirect plot. There are so many bizarre branches of the plot, that it’s hard to remain focused. This plot was so confusing that it puzzled my endless access of knowledge, imagine what it would do to your everyday third grader.

The majority of the film is blown out of proportion and doesn’t really seem like a real Spongebob episode. For some reason, for this movie, the writers decided to just throw away all of the principles that Spongebob was built on and explore different and subsequently strange dimensions because apparently a talking-sponge that lives underwater isn’t bizarre enough.

It is very obvious that the creators struggled to find a story that would fill a full movie time slot. Spongebob will be Spongebob, but this is in no way a fair representation of the sponge-filled show that warmed our hearts as adolescents.

So unless you are under the age of 8, I recommend staying home, saving your money, and doing your homework.

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